How to be single by Valentine’s Day

Everywhere you look there are fluffy love teddies and heart shaped everything filling your store windows, but we at Junk Mail know not everyone likes Valentine’s Day as much as the typical commercial zombie; so we decided to bring you a new way to look at the 14 day countdown towards THE MOST ROMATIC DAY OF THE YEAR!

Let’s start by How to be single by Valentine’s Day .

february 14

Yeah that’s right, nothing is more romantic than doing what you want, when you want and with who you want, so turn this V-day into “My day”.

If you are in a current relationship but things aren’t going that good anymore are you find yourself bored. Follow these 10, funny ways to ensure you’ll be single by Valentine’s Day!

Welcome to Dumpsville, Population: YOU

  1. 594165_f260Tell your partner he / she’s been a great rebound (remember to thank them for helping you) but the time has come to move on.
  2. Arrange a meeting to break the news softly that your ‘partner’ doesn’t want you dating other people anymore.
  3. Set up a personal voice message going something like; “Hi, I’m unavailable right now please leave a message, except if it’s (insert boy or girlfriend’s name here) then I’m dead and not your girlfriend anymore.
  4. Tell them that it’s not you, it’s them and they have turned you gay.
  5. Go on a Valentine’s date (in your car), tell them it’s over after dinner and then leave, forcing them to walk home.
  6. If your boy or girlfriend is (a lot) younger than you, break up with them by telling them you found out you are their real father or mother.
  7. Tell them you really just don’t find them attractive at all anymore and that you have been using Tik most of your relationship.
  8. Have your friend phone your partner and tell them you can’t date anymore because you’re taking your friendship next level.
  9. Send them a Whatsapp message or BBM.
  10. Just pretend you were never dating. Even if it was years.

It’s not mean if you find it funny.

Adeline Vorster

Gypsy at heart | Animal Lover | Movie Monsters & Muscle Cars | Compadre | Eendrag Maak Mag | Elvis is not dead

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