Questions that Haunt Us

There are a lot of unanswered questions in the world today. Here are a few them that might haunt a few of us….

  • Can you cry under water?
  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
  • Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going to?
  • Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
  • What disease did cured ham actually have?
  • How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
  • Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?
  • Why are you in a movie, but you’re on TV?
  • Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
  • Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?
  • Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
  • If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
  • If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
  • Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
  • If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
  • If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
  • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
  • Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs?
  • Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Why?
  • Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
  • Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough money?
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
  • Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
  • Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  • Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
  • Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  • Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?
  • If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
  • Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
  • Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
  • Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
  • Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
  • Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
  • How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
  • Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
  • In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
  • How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.

Henno Kruger

Digital Marketing Campaign Coordinator at Junk Mail Publishing.

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