Valentines Day is almost here, which leaves a lot of people asking “What do I get my Valentine”?
The simple answer would be you don’t get them anything! But we realise there’s a lot of romantics out there and no matter whether you are dating a 4days, 8months or 50years, you always wonder about setting the gift bar to high or too low!
Now, we might not be able to help you find the perfect gift, but we sure as hell can help you rule out 12 really crap ones!
1. You do not under any circumstances want to buy your girlfriend or wife exercise equipment, or any other grooming supplies- if you can’t understand why- then you deserve the boot coming your way!
2. Underwear that’s too small, second hand edible underwear and Brief jerky edible underwear are no goers! Also refrain from putting chocolates and underwear in the same packaging- nothing says love like chocolate (looks like poop) stained underwear.
3. Guys and girls, it might be hilarious and very tempting to you, but resist buying your boyfriend or girlfriend Private Part Pant Expanders For Men or those padded bra inserts that make your boobs look bigger… this is a no brainer!
4. No matter how dilly your other half is, Self-Help and “The Art of Lovemaking for Dummies” books are a no go as well!
5. Socks. Unless they are for your granddad on Father’s day- they suck!
6. A half-eaten bag of pink and red M&M’s doesn’t say love- it says you had your sweaty hands all over my sweets, which is especially problematic when your girlfriend tend to be OCD like most girls.
7. Perfume your ex used to wear…
8. A very small coffee mug that says “Size Doesn’t Matter”
9. A Facebook gift
10. A blow-up doll
11. Divorce papers
12. And something that’s worse than all these mentioned, including divorce papers – A rash!